early starts

I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas.  I love the magic of the holidays.  Snow falling gently onto empty sidewalks, illuminated by the warm glow of old-fashioned street lamps - coming home to a house dark except for a lit Christmas tree, lighting the way to the closest light switch, one that you don't bother turning on - driving in the dark, listening to Chrsitmas music and thinking of the ones you love - holiday parties filled with laughter and good food and good friends - sipping steaming hot cocoa while cuddled under blankets in a matching set of PJs and watching a Christmas movie - perfectly wrapped presents under the tree.  All of it.  I love it all.

The actual day can be stressful, and then it's as if the pre-Christmas never quite matched up with the sugarplum images that danced through your head.  As I've been getting older and taking ever more control over my own happiness, I've struggled with how to keep myself happy throughout the holidays, instead of loving the day after Thanksgiving as the first day I can celebrate and then slowly slipping into a holiday doldrum that never meets the insanely high expectations I set.  Well this year, this year I'm doing something different.

I had a night to myself for the first time in awhile; no roommate or Loverman to keep my company, no pressing assignments or places to be in the morning.  Instead of simply binge-watching Netflix and lying on the couch lamenting I don't have food, just ingredients, I binge watched my DVDs of House and made an early start.  I sat down with my wrapping paper, scissors, gifts, and boxes, and I started wrapping.

It's no secret from my last things I love Thursday (it was on Friday) that I love gift wrapping.  With the whole night ahead of me, I took the time and I wrapped my presents slowly and perfectly and tied them with bows and made gift tags and had an absolutely low-key, creative and inspired night; taking the first step towards getting myself excited for the holidays.  It was the first step towards being at peace with the pre-Christmas struggle of expectations-set-too-high, and have a pre-Christmas that met expectations that can lead to a joyful holiday for myself and those around me.

Is my holiday going to be perfect?  Probably not, nothing really is.  But I'm going to have an amazing time.  One thing that I keep reminding myself, that has been helping quite a lot, is that when I look back to past years, I can always pick out one of the sugarplum moments - the ones that dance through my head the following year and fill me with a craving holiday nostalgia.  This year, I'm vowing to take control and keep myself in a present mindset to enjoy next year's sugarplum moments this year, as they happen.

Happy start of the Holidays! xx