Mostly because they're both hard. And they suck. Not really, I'm really thankful for both of them, but they're tough cookies, you know?
I attended a panel recently on the topic of choice, and why it matters. There were presenters from three different topics of choice; Dr. Susan Schneider, presenting on the Science of Choice, Dr. Rothman, presenting on How We Choose, and Dr. Vladas Griskevicius, presenting on Decisions: Rational or Irrational. I was technically working sound for this event, but it was one I was more than happy to be working - choices had been bothering me lately, and I was treated to a new appreciation for choice and what it is. I was reminded that as much as I hate it, choice is unavoidable, but that humans prefer having choice (albeit limited) over no choice, and that many of us are overconfident in our decision making abilities. We all have cognitive biases surrounding our decision making, and lately there has been talk of that being our flaw - however, Dr. Griskevicius (who asked us to call him Vlad) argues in his book that having those biases is what sets us apart from animals. Dr. Rothman talked about experiments on how people make choices, involving mirrors in our shopping carts and kids taking too much Halloween candy unless they see themselves watching them (seriously). These are just the snaps of what I learned in each presentation.
The discussion portion was where things got really interesting - Dr. John Halberg, who is a consultant on MPR, was our moderator - and I heard how choice and what the audience had learned about choice impacted their daily lives. Being aware of all of these things has impacted the way I've been making and thinking about decisions since attending the panel. I'm more aware of the biases I have when I make decisions, I'm more aware of biases others may have. I'm careful not to delude myself or dilute the information I'm getting. I'm looking at how my habits and environment affect my choices and if I'm at a point in my life where I can alter these habits. I received an onslaught of information and I loved learning all of it.
Which brings me to the big lesson I learned from it all. Having too many choices often makes me feel out of control, overwhelmed, and anxious. I tend to shut down and decide that no choice is the best choice. So when I was offered a part-time position that would turn into a full-time position when I graduate, which would then become an executive management position with a great event marketing company, I freaked out. It was the first big-girl job I'd applied for, and then it was offered to me, and then I panicked. What if I took this job, but then my dream job came up? What if I didn't take this job, but then didn't get a job? I was suffering from major What-If-itis and to say I was freaking out was an understatement. I talked it over with Loverman, who didn't say much, and he asked if we could talk about it on the commercial (I probably shouldn't have brought it up during football), so I waited.
By the time the game took a break and the commercial had begun, I'd made a decision. I wasn't going to take the job.
Yeah, I need a part-time job. Yeah, I'm going to need a full-time job in 7 months. But it wasn't for me.
Sure, a great opportunity fell into my lap, and many people would have jumped at the chance, but I had a choice, and I had to trust myself on that choice. I'm at a point in my life where the chances are theoretically endless, which means I have endless options - of course I feel trapped. Instead of over-thinking each and every choice I make, I'm attempting to trust my gut.
When I left that voicemail, thanking them for the chance to interview, the amazing offer and opportunity, followed by my apologies for being unable to take the job, I found that I suddenly felt free. I was free to choose something I love, and I cannot wait for that choice to present itself.
What has been a choice you've been confronted with lately?
cheers.
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