my real self.

Inspired by TheCollegePrepster's post on the same topic, I'm presenting to the internet my Real Self.  I didn't think I would be as nervous as I am to post this.  So here it goes.

I have anxiety and depression.
I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough.
I truly do not like college and cannot wait to be done.
I could read Harry Potter and nothing else for the rest of my life.
I wish I didn't have dry lips.
I'm not as grateful for my hair color as I should be.
I am terribly clumsy, but afraid of the doctor.
I struggle with being an extrovert or introvert.
I'm a recovering chronic liar.

There are things in my life I'm not proud.  There are things in my life I'm incredibly proud of.  I watch too much television and I see worlds and lives that are created and unrealistically portrayed and I hold my life to unrealistic expectations.  I hold myself to unrealistic expectations.  Everyone does, society does, but there is just something about seeing it printed out that really cements it into my head.  My entire life, I have felt like all I do is disappoint.  That feeling has been a huge wall for me to climb as I battle depression and anxiety.  Accepting anxiety has been a wall - I didn't even know I had an anxiety disorder until I was being treated for depression.  I'm battling with who my real self is, as everyone is.  There are walls to climb and break down throughout life.  Feelings of disappointment and anxiety and fear - but it's part of life.  It is so cliche to say it, but sometimes it has to be said.

Here is my real self.  Fresh out of the shower, frizzy hair, dry skin, red spots, bags under the eyes.  I didn't even apply an Instagram filter.  This is me.

Now tell me about you.